Leaders Eat Last - why leadership is about people, not position

Some books teach you how to manage better. This one asks you to think more deeply about how you lead.

Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek is not a book about management techniques or performance metrics. It is a book about responsibility. About care. About what it really means to lead human beings.

At its core, the book makes a simple but confronting case.

Organisations succeed or fail not because of strategy alone, but because of leadership excellence. Professional competence is not enough. Good leaders must genuinely care for those entrusted to them.

Leadership Is a Choice, Not a Title

One of the strongest messages throughout the book is that leadership is not defined by rank. Leadership is a choice to serve others, with or without formal authority.

There are people with titles who are not leaders. And there are people at every level of an organisation who most certainly are.

Leadership is not a licence to do less. It is a responsibility to do more. It takes time, energy and emotional commitment. The effects are not always immediate or easy to measure, but leadership is always a commitment to people.

The Circle of Safety

A central concept in the book is the Circle of Safety. When leaders create environments where people feel protected, trusted and valued, stress decreases and performance improves. When leaders prioritise themselves, numbers or short term outcomes, fear takes over.

Research cited in the book shows that having a job we hate can be as damaging to our health as being unemployed. Stress and anxiety at work have far less to do with the work itself and far more to do with weak leadership.

People do not leave organisations lightly. They leave when there is no sense of belonging, no trust and no reason to stay beyond money and benefits.

People Before Numbers

Sinek contrasts organisations like Costco and GE to show that leadership impact cannot be judged day to day. Good leadership is like exercise. You do not see results overnight. The real difference only becomes clear over time.

Customers will never love a company until employees love it first. Culture is built from the inside out, and leadership choices compound over months and years, not quarters.

Shared Struggle Builds Belonging

Some of our best experiences at work are not remembered because the work was easy, but because it was shared. When teams struggle together to solve problems, they build trust, camaraderie and meaning.

There is even biology behind this. Shared hardship releases oxytocin, strengthening bonds between people. This is why project teams, working groups and committees often create deeper connection than working alone.

I have experienced this first hand in different paid and volunteer roles. When you're in the thick of it you feel like you'll be with these people forever! Then the struggle is resolved, you change roles or leave that group and a few months later wonder where the friendship went.  

One of the many reasons our identity cannot be tied to our job or role! Real friends will stick with you beyond the role change but you have to work at it. Find a new common shared struggle!

Belonging comes from participation, not observation.

Integrity Is Non Negotiable

Integrity runs through the book as a central leadership requirement. Integrity is when our words and actions align with our intentions. Without it, trust collapses.

People need to know that what their leaders say is the truth, even when it is uncomfortable. Trust is not about agreement. It is about authenticity. When integrity is missing, our brains perceive it as a matter of survival.

This is why hypocrisy, performative leadership and saying what people want to hear rather than what they need to hear destroys trust so quickly.

Leadership Develops People

True leadership is not about control. It is about preparation and trust.

Leaders teach the rules, build competence and develop confidence. Then they step back and trust their people to do what is right. Responsibility is not obedience. Responsibility is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

The most effective leaders give people something to believe in and a challenge that stretches their resources, but not their intellect. When people believe in the purpose, they give far more than compliance.

A Shared Responsibility

One of the most important conclusions in the book is that leadership is not confined to the top of an organisation. While those with authority can lead at greater scale, everyone has a responsibility to keep the Circle of Safety strong.

Leadership is expressed through small, consistent actions, one day at a time.

The challenge Sinek leaves us with is simple and powerful.

Be the leader you wish you had.

A Final Reflection

Not every suggestion in the book will resonate with every leader. I disagreed with some of Sinkek's ideas about working with Millennials.  But Leadership must evolve with the times. What matters most is not rigid adherence to ideas, but thoughtful application grounded in care for people.

Leaders Eat Last is a reminder that leadership is stewardship. It is about wellbeing, trust, sacrifice and legacy.

The work we do only truly matters when it contributes to something bigger than ourselves. And that work is carried forward, not by systems or strategies, but by people.

So the real question for each of us is this:

Where might you strengthen the Circle of Safety in your own leadership in the new year?